who are you people with your jobs and such...?

I apologize for not writing about it earlier, but I've been in oscillating states of shock, awe, ire, and depression over what a friend of mine told me last Thursday at a group meeting:

She already has an offer she accepted to work for KPMG upon graduation in May.

Whaaat??  And she brushed it off her shoulders like it was no big deal.  "Don't you have one?" she seemed to say.  I, sadly, yet unabashedly (seriously?) had to inform her that no, I did not have any offers.

I don't think it was hate that began to seethe from my pores, and I'm not sure if it was jealousy, but it was a mixture of emotions that was running through my veins as I looked at her, sitting at her desk, eatin her pizza so daintedly, afraid of getting the marinara sauce on her white sweater.  Don't worry, she could spill an entire pie on her cashmere and it wouldn't matter--her signing bonus was big enough that she could probably buy an entire cashmere factory.

Now, I understad that my friend is in the (unfortunate) industry of accounting and that I am in the (equally unfortunate, but for different reasons) industry of marketing, and that jobs for me will not even be considered until a date far closer to graduation, but it's still like a swift kick to the shins.  Not just that she has a job, but she seems to find it so incredulous that after a summer internship and a good education that I don't have an offer.  It's nice to know someone values me in that way, but I'd rather have it be someone who can actually give me a job, not my entry-level accountant friend.  Though, when April 14th, 2009 rears its ugly head and I'll have to do my own taxes for my entry-level position that we hope I get, paying a living salary, I'll know who to call.

"Hi, is Jaqueline there?"

"Yes, this is she."

"Hi, this is Entry Level Blogger.  Remember we went to business school together?  I'm the one who didn't have the job in September."

"Oh right, how did that work out?"

"Well, I have one now.  Job, salary, taxes, and all."

"Congratulations!  What do you do?"

"I'm in advertising." (let's assume here)

"Oh, that's uh... different."

"Yeah, I was wondering if you could help me with my tax returns."

"Do you even make enough money there to be taxed?"

I imagine it'll go something like that.  God, what a great life I have to look forward to.  I just can't wait to start setting aside money for my "mid-life crisis" fund.  I'm seeing motorcycles, tattoos, and an entire backyard of Chia Pets in the future.