converstation with my father...

I was talking with my father recently about what exactly I was doing on the Eastern seaboard with no job and a pithy 14 units in school.  The dialogue went something like this:

POPPABLOGGER: So, what have you been doing?  No job or internship this semester, fourteen credits--

ELBLOGGER: Six classes.

PB: Yeah, fourteen credits... so what exactly do you do?

ELB: Well, I've been getting really involved in school.  I'm on a few advisory boards, I'm part of a few clubs at school, I've been involved in my fraternity....

PB: Right.  Anything else?

ELB: I'm getting kind of intense on looking for a job.  Going to information sessions, career fairs, mock interviews, and networking.

PB: ....

ELB: What?  It's a full-time job looking for a job!!

PB: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

I don't know what was so funny.  I was being serious.  He laughed for like, a full minute, too.

inconsistency...

I notice that there are a few people actually visiting this site, yay!  I've accomplished my goal of my sitetracket not just being populated by myself.

Anyway, you'll notice there haven't been many posts for a while, but don't worry.  There should be a bunch backdated popping up in the next few days.  I got a little behind and wrote drafts, but never finished them.  This weekend is my catch-up weekend.

Be expecting.

And please come back.  I like to see my statcounter go up.  It means I'm doing this for more than just me, and it makes me feel less self-centered.  If you like me enough and have something to say, you can even comment.  Or you can always e-mail me at entrylevelblog@gmail.com.

Thanks, and see ya.

haiku...

Recruiting is so

Tiring, but I go on.

I need a stiff drink.

new york, new york...

There comes a time in every era where the era has to end.

My era in New York may very well be at its end.  And I have to deal with that.

I think I mentioned this in the about me post, but I'm originally from California.  Yes, sunny California.  Though, where I'm from it's more like "morning fog" California (welcome, Bay Area).  Thus, when I came to New York, I was going a long way from home.  Now, this gets hard during Thanksgiving and and my birthday when I can't go home, but I suppose it opens more doors upon graduating; I can stay in New York, or I can go to California.  Technically, I could go anywhere, but really, do I want to go live in the Midwest? (no offense, Midwesterners, but I'm a coastal guy--I need the beach, and blue states)

The problem is: am I done with New York?  I'll only have been here a bit short of four years by the time graduation rolls around, and I'm not sure if that's enough time.  I always just assumed I would stay here.  How I would balance that with going home for Christmas, I had not thought about.  I mean, I like New York.  I've liked it since I've been here.  Besides the obligatory "home for Christmas" and a stint studying abroad, I really haven't left.  I like the hours (24), I like the food, I like the culture (somewhat), and I like the environment.  Does San Fransisco really compare in the same way?

How do you know when you're finished living some place?  Sure, I get discouraged that I don't have a car and that my apartment is the size of a shoebox.  I want some fresh air sometimes and nature that isn't Central Park.  But am I really going to be ready to be done with this city in May?

Somehow, I don't think so.

getting down...

I'm going to get serious for a minute.

I was recently asked if I ever get tired.  Tired of the search.  Tired of the school.  Tired of being "on" all the time.  The answer?  Of course.  Of course you get tired of working so hard for so long just to get a little recognition and find yourself in a good job.  

Think about it.  In high school I worked hard to get into a good college.  I thought that would be the end.  But it's not.  In college, you work hard to get a good job.  So, in a sense, you're working hard in high school to get a good job, too.  And then, I assume, you work hard at your job so you get more money, more responsibility, and more houses in Beverly Hills next to Will Smith.

Who doesn't get tired?

It seems to get magnified in these leaps from one era to another.  In high school, when applying for college, I was always tired.  The day that I found out I got into my university, I was in bed, asleep, skipping school because I was so tired that I had made myself a little sick.  IB classes, AP classes, projects, finals, social pressure--it just got to be too much.  When I found out that I had made it in, it seemed like there was an elation in my life and I could deal with those classes, those projects, and those exams.  Little did I know that four years later I would be in the same place, but an even larger culmination of my life: a job.

I imagine that, when I get a job (hope hope hope), that it'll feel the same way that it did when I got into college.  I'll feel a sense of comfort and stability, at least for the foreseeable future, and I'll be able to sit down and actually enjoy a glass of wine.

The truth is, it's a lot of work to find a job.  Those of you who are looking know this to be true.  It's a lot of work.  You have to update your resume, find places to send them, send them, wait for responses, follow up, wait for responses, follow up, wait, wait, wait, interview, wait, interview, wait, wait, and you hope the end point isn't a stock rejection letter.  If it is, then it just makes you want to give up.

That's why I'm always "on."  If I ever turn off, which is sort of what I'm doing writing this blog entry, if I ever turn off, then reality swiftly smacks me in the face and shows me that my resume isn't as good as a lot of people's, my skills aren't as honed as some, and my connections aren't as good as I'm to believe they are.  Everyone else seems to calm, so collected.  Some people already have offers.  They know where their lives are going.  Where will mine go?  Where will I be, not just in five or ten years, but in five or ten months?

Uncertainty is not a comforting feeling.  In some cases it can be fun: traveling in Southeast Asia, going out on the town for an adventure, getting lost in the concrete jungle.  Uncertainty in contained physical aspects such as those is fine.  But when you are uncertain about your future, where you're going to be, and if you'll even be doing well enough for yourself to live off of your livelihood, I don't care who you are: it's not comforting.

You have to be "on" to come out of this with all of your neurons intact.  You need to be "on" to keep yourself going on through it.  You need to be "on" if you're going to trick yourself into believing you are more comfortable than reality would have you believe.

Sometimes, you are down.  But soon after, flip that switch or you ain't getting out of that sand trap you've set for yourself.

being a student forever...

I've decided that I'm going to put my life on a new plan:

I'm going to be a student forever.

I'll have my B.S. in May.  After that, I think the only natural progression is to an M.S. or an M.A.  That should take about two or three years.  Then, I'll go for a Ph.D.  That should take another three.  I'll decide I want to be a doctor then, and go get my M.D.  That'll take another four (let's be optimistic).  I'll go to law school, get my J.D., take another three years.  

I figure that if I can run from student loans so long as I'm a matriculated student, then there's no harm in getting myself into hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of debt.

I'll have five degrees.  And I'll be thirty-five.  Entry Level Blogger, BS, MA, PhD, MD, Esq.

Not nearly old enough to die.

I hear in Europe and England they have all sort of initials for higher education.  Maybe I can extend this idea over there....

lack of opportunity...

Let me talk about on-campus recruitment again, and how unfair my particular university is.

If you remember from this entry, I am required to attend a pair of seminars before I gain access to our on-campus recruitment and interviewing program.  Well, I attended the seminars and now you're reading the blog of one, certified, interviewing maven.  

The problem is that today I went and looked for jobs to apply for.  I selected all recruitment jobs and came up with a long list, exactly 358 long.  The problem?  351 of them were for financial analysts, tax auditors, investment bankers, hedge fund managers, and entry-level banking positions.

The seven that weren't?  Four of them were Macy's, one was Polo Ralph Lauren, one was L'Oreal, and one was Google.

Can't my school offer me more choice?  What about those thousands of poor kids who aren't majoring in finance and/or accounting?  Thanks, university.  I can see you're looking out for the wee ones.

haiku...

i say good spirit

no job, no luck, but so fun

optimism sucks

diversity in advertising...

So today was the day of the Diversity in Advertising Career Day up at the Hilton on 52nd Street in New York City.  Sounds prestigious, huh?  Well let me tell you about it.

I got there around one-thirty, when a seminar titled "The 10 Commandments of Getting Hired," is starting.  That's one of the main reasons I went, so I rushed into the room.  For about an hour I sat about five rows back from the 8 or so panelists made up of different people of different functions from different agencies and listened to what they like to hear in resumes, cover letters, interviews, and follow-ups.  A lot of the stuff was things I'd heard before ("Proofread your resume," duh), but some of it was useful.

The real fun part of the event came after the seminar, when I got to visit the booths of 60+ agencies from around the country.  Who was there?  Ogilvy, JWT, Lowe, Saatchi, Google, Goodby, McCann, MTV, AdAge... just to name a few.  I was excited to have some conversations, rub some elbows, and meet some new people.

The first thing I had to do though was visit my good ol' HR ladies over at Lowe Worldwide.  Last summer I had an internship as a brand strategist at Lowe Worldwide in New York and it was one of th ebest experiences--it got me into the whole advertising industry, and I'm grateful for that.  What was the best part of the internship though was the people I met.  Half the reason I decided to go to the career day was to see them, once I saw Lowe would be represented with a booth.

I walked up and down the aisles of booths until I spotted Lowe.  One of them spotted me at the same time and got up running towards me, giving me a big hug in the middle of the expo.  The other one was talking to someone who wanted a job.  I felt kind of bad that I had wavered her attention, she had to say, "Sorry, I got distracted" to the guy she was talking to.  I'm sure he deserved a job, too.  I sat and talked to them for a little while, we caught up on how the agency was doing (no comments...) and how my schooling was doing (equally no comments...) and how the rest of the interns were doing, live, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.  All that fun stuff.  They sent me off to go talk to some potential employers and I said I would visit later.

The first I visited with was Ogilvy.  My old Advertising Management teacher actually knows Mr. Ogilvy, so I thought it might be zen to start with them.  I get there, and the woman is opening a Coca-Cola, so I wait for her to finish, take a sip, and shake my hand.  We have some small talk, it comes out that I'm graduating in May and she says, "Oh... you're a little early."  I told her I realized that, but just that I wanted to come and say hi and have some conversation, and asked when would be a better time when there would be more of a chance to get a job.  "Um... I guess around April."

That damn scarcity again.

So I moved on to McCann.  I went to them, we had our small talk, this times sans Coke, and when we got to the point of giving a resume, I gladly handed it over and she looked at it.  Within a second, her brow furrowed up and said, "So... you graduate in May?"  I replied that yes, and that I knew I was a little early, but that I was here for the experience (and my Lowe gals).  "I'm sorry, we don't really hire this far out.  I can take this resume, but I don't think I can do anything with it."  So now we're killing trees.

I get it, people.  I'm early.  But isn't that good?  I'm eager to enter the business.  I want to get my name in, get my face in.  I want to meet people.  It's not like I went to the career day expecting a job out of it.  I went to meet some nice people, have some nice conversation, and maybe score a few free gifts and a meal at the same time.  Is that a crime?  

Saatchi told me the same thing as the others.  So what did I decide to do?  Just have a little fun.  I went to Lowe, dropped my bag off there, and galavanted around just talking.  

My best fun stop was at MTV.  I was attracted to them because of their table overflowing with free DVDs, notebooks, and belts.  Yes.  Belts.  Belts with blinged out buckles that said "SPIKE" on them.  I had to have one.  Or two.  I hadn't quite yet decided.  So I went up to the table, started talking about the channels, what they do there, marketing positions, and then we got on the subject of Flavor of Love.  Let me preface this with one sentence: I hate Flavor of Love.  So I asked them what they thought of it.  They hated it too.  Good to know there's such strong brand support in the company.  About five minutes later, after having gone through Flavor of Love, I Love New York, and that old show where they would play five seconds of a song and you'd have to guess what it was, the recruiter said, "Why am I even talking to you?  Are you trying to get a job?"  I said no, unless she was offering.

Maybe I just enjoy career fairs too much.

if i only learned one thing in economics...

It was guns and butter.

But if it wasn't that, then it was supply and demand.

And, if it wasn't that, then it was definitely the scarcity of resources, and the scarcity of time.

Economics professors love to loathe the scarcity of time. What do we have more than enough of? People, and we can birth them, too. Well, not all of us, but about 50% of us. What do we have a lot of? Hydrogen, oxygen, marble, trees.  What do we have just enough of?  Spice Girls reunions, Cat Stevens albums, and varieties of tomato.  What do we not have enough of?  Well, that would be time.

Why do I talk about the scarcity of time now?  Because time has been a big issue in my life.  More specifically related to this whole "recruitment" stint, the scheduling of my timeline.  So let's think about this timeline.

What I really want to do (I think) is advertising.  Specifically brand strategy, but that really has no impact on the discussion of my timeline.  However, as I have come to realize, advertising agencies don't really recruit until March or April, and then it's less of a recruit and more of an, "Oh, we need someone to fill this spot.  Who can start in a week?"  Unfortunately, the way school works, and the pressures of my university and my peers, is that people have been asking me since August whether I have had an offer for the following May.  That, and some jobs that interest me (*cough*Google*cough), though not advertising, are hiring right now.

So here's the timeline:

September: return to school, on-campus recruitment begins, pressure ensues

October: on-campus recruitment interviews, stress begins

November: on-campus recruitment interviews, mental breakdown

December: decisions on recruitment offers (please?) due

March: advertising recruitment

May: graduation

What that means is I can either do this whole recruiting thing and hopefully have a job by December for the following May in a field that isn't advertising but I would still be okay with (especially if it included free lunch).  Or, I could wait, feel pressure and diappointment from my peers, and hope somebody decides to hire me in a very competitive industry in March and, if the case that that fails, return home to my parents and cry on my childhood bed for about three months straight before scrambling together what life I have left in a somewhat valuable degree and a lot of destroyed perserverence.

Which sounds more appealing?

i think white is a color...

I wouldn't go so far as to say we have any sort of breakthrough in the post-May job search, but we do have an event to go to. And, in my stoic life, events are reason enough to celebrate. So bust our your party hats and groggers, it's networking time.

This Thursday, I will be attending what is called the Diversity in Advertising Career Day at the Midtown Hilton in New York City. It sounds so professional, huh? What it seems to be, however, is one big giant career fair with seminars. The seminars sound pretty good, and useful, including one titled "The Ten Commandments of Getting Hired," which we all know I could use greatly.

I could also use the 60+ companies that will be represented there, from Arnold, DDB, and Lowe (my internship alma mater) to Yahoo!, The Washington Post, and Zimmerman. Even Google will be there. And from what I hear (and see) about their food... I'd have no problem getting hired by them. What's 80 hours of work a week if you get lunch and dinner "on campus?" I feel that more companies would have stronger ties with their employees (and the rumor mill among laypersons) if they offered perks like free food to their employees. It's definitely a pull on why I like my university so much. Nothing says "I love you" like free food at lunchtime.

Digression aside, I feel like this could be 1) fun, 2) an opportunity, and, if nothing else 3) a reason to get dressed up and chit-chat small talk.

Now, the reason for the entry is, I'm not sure if you noticed, but the day is called Diversity in advertising.  Not that I've said this before on the blog, but I'm quite Anglo.  I'm about as white as mayonnaise.  In other words, I've never been known to look particularly... diverse.  This could go either one of two ways: either the title of the day has no real impact on the attendees or outlook on the fair, or I'm going to be seen as yet another priviledged white imperialist trying to take the riches from the poor and give to the richer, creating even more elaborate systems of inequality and abuse, ready to only get myself ahead in life so that I can have a casket emblazoned in gold housed in a giant marble tomb on some lofty hillside in the stretched of Beverly Hills where I lived out my last years in a multi-million dollar mansion with maids, butlers, and cooks (who were probably minorities, and probably underpriviledged) because I am the man, and if anyone were to stick something to someone, they would stick it to me because of my Anglo heritage and that would become even more apparent among a crowd of advertising individuals from diverse backgrounds.

I'm not really sure how to play my cards.  But if the Hilton is full of Indians, Africans, Asians, Jamaicans, Latinos, and Canadians (eh?), then maybe white represents diversity in that group.  Though I feel this is a deeper political discussion than I intended to enter when I began the entry.

The point is, I'm going to this day, and I'm determined to have a ball.

I'll let you know how it goes.

who are you people with your jobs and such...?

I apologize for not writing about it earlier, but I've been in oscillating states of shock, awe, ire, and depression over what a friend of mine told me last Thursday at a group meeting:

She already has an offer she accepted to work for KPMG upon graduation in May.

Whaaat??  And she brushed it off her shoulders like it was no big deal.  "Don't you have one?" she seemed to say.  I, sadly, yet unabashedly (seriously?) had to inform her that no, I did not have any offers.

I don't think it was hate that began to seethe from my pores, and I'm not sure if it was jealousy, but it was a mixture of emotions that was running through my veins as I looked at her, sitting at her desk, eatin her pizza so daintedly, afraid of getting the marinara sauce on her white sweater.  Don't worry, she could spill an entire pie on her cashmere and it wouldn't matter--her signing bonus was big enough that she could probably buy an entire cashmere factory.

Now, I understad that my friend is in the (unfortunate) industry of accounting and that I am in the (equally unfortunate, but for different reasons) industry of marketing, and that jobs for me will not even be considered until a date far closer to graduation, but it's still like a swift kick to the shins.  Not just that she has a job, but she seems to find it so incredulous that after a summer internship and a good education that I don't have an offer.  It's nice to know someone values me in that way, but I'd rather have it be someone who can actually give me a job, not my entry-level accountant friend.  Though, when April 14th, 2009 rears its ugly head and I'll have to do my own taxes for my entry-level position that we hope I get, paying a living salary, I'll know who to call.

"Hi, is Jaqueline there?"

"Yes, this is she."

"Hi, this is Entry Level Blogger.  Remember we went to business school together?  I'm the one who didn't have the job in September."

"Oh right, how did that work out?"

"Well, I have one now.  Job, salary, taxes, and all."

"Congratulations!  What do you do?"

"I'm in advertising." (let's assume here)

"Oh, that's uh... different."

"Yeah, I was wondering if you could help me with my tax returns."

"Do you even make enough money there to be taxed?"

I imagine it'll go something like that.  God, what a great life I have to look forward to.  I just can't wait to start setting aside money for my "mid-life crisis" fund.  I'm seeing motorcycles, tattoos, and an entire backyard of Chia Pets in the future.

allow myself to introduce... myself...

I thought that it might be nice, before I continue to give you a haphazard look into the world of a soon-to-be college graduate and entry-level worker, to give you a quick background on who I am.  Because we all know nothing is more disheartening than to find out your favorite blogger (or vlogger) is one big, giant fraud.  Not to name names....

Let's start with the basic identifiers, which you might already be able to glean from the few previous posts.

AGE: 21 years-old

ZODIAC SIGN: taurus

GENDER: male

CURRENT LOCATION: new york

FORMER LOCATION: california

MAJOR: marketing

I'd like to keep a certain amount of anonymity, as those fools who send me random myspace and facebook messages (fellas, I like girls, but thanks for the compliments; and porn stars, I don't really want to be your myspace 'friend') kind of creep me out.  So we'll keep my name and school under wraps.  I'm not too careful though, so maybe you can pick up on a few things if you read carefully.

Now, you might be asking, what do you want to do with your life that's making this final year of college rather frightening, and why start a blog about it?

For the first question, I'm interested in advertising.  This past summer I actually landed an internship (I know, who'dve thunk?) at an advertising agency working in the strategy department and I had a blast.  I like both the psychological and artistic intricacies that go on behind what brings an advertisement to the public.  Call me a lover of low-brow art, but advertising does that to me.

To lead into the second question, I like writing.  Ideally, I would be a famous short-story writer who just sits on his ass eating Milano cookies and typing up a fury.  I'm far too practical to put all my eggs in one basket though.  Not to say I don't dream and dabble.  That said, if anyone is giving away book deals, you know where to turn them to.  My love of writing is one of the main attractions of blogging.  Sure, I may suck at times, and I may rock at times, but at least I'm writing, and getting that much closer to being better.  

Another reason why I started a blog is because I know there are many, many other students and otherwise young people out there who share the same anxieties.  Whether you're going into the workforce from high school, undergrad, a master's program, or a joint law degree/medical degree, it's a scary experience to leave the confines of education and begin the process of an actual, 9-5 (sometimes more), taxable income-filled career.  Maybe if others who are going through the same thing stumble upon this blog, they won't feel so alone, and they'll know that someone else is having as ridiculous of a time with as ridiculous of situations.  And, while I'm at it, this is for those who are established and who have careers.  You must remember what it was like to be in this limbo of a position!  So maybe I'll be able to rekindle that flame in you.  And maybe you'll hire me.  We can dream, eh?

So that's a little bit about me and a little bit about how my brain got twisted into starting this blog that you may love and RSS subscribe to, or you may hate and lambast me on your own blog.  Really, it's your choice.  But I think I have something to share, so I'm going to share it.

a note to the readers i hope will frequent this blog...

I'm not sure if anybody is going to read this or not, but I just thought I'd write a little disclaimer in case somebody does happen to stumble here and begin to explore this crater in my brain.

I am relatively new to blogging.

I don't really know how to set up this Blogger business to look the way I want to, and, while I have a lot of patience when it comes to computer things and the Internet, sometimes I'm just baffled by the simplest stuff.  So forgive me if this page changes appearance or has some inconsistencies in appearance for a while until I get the hang of things.

Now, that said, I hope there are people visiting this in the future and continue to visit it.  There are so many people scared and waiting (and biding their time) to enter the real world that I hope they can find some natural company here.

and you're supposed to help me find a job...?

The Office of Career Services.  Your best friend in senior year as you try to find a job.  Supposedly.

I just returned from my school's OCS, and I am thoroughly disappointed.  Should I be trusting these people to help usher me into the world of salaries and the 401(k)?

This is basically how on-campus recruitment goes:

1. Attend career fair

2. Drop resume to employer online

3. Get interview

3a. If no interview received, bid for an interview

4. Interview

5. Receive job (double crossed fingers style)

Now, to be able to drop your resume and complete step two, you must have attended two special seminars offered at our OCS: Recruitment Orientation and Interviewing Skills.  This is understandable, if you are a freshmen.  However, I am a senior.  Not to toot my own horn, but all of this job stuff, this ain't new to me.  I've had jobs for years.  I know how to interview.  And I'm attending a good school.  A business program.  I know how to do these things.  I don't need to be spoon-fed directions.  In short, I'm not a fuck-up.

But, beauaucracy is beauaucracy, and to get to step three, I need to attend these seminars.  Too bad the next ones aren't offered until the deadline of step two.  Now, you might say I should have been more on-the-ball about this whole system, but to that I say nay!  OCS is so far removed from our schooling and any mention of it is in passing.  How was I to know that these requirements were so stringent?  And that, without going through this process, to get your resume even looked at by an HR representative at some companies is impossible.  Believe me, I wish I could drop my resume off in other ways, get interviews at these companies through other ways, but that just doesn't seem to be the way things work in the real world.  And this must be what I go by; I'm not ready to enter the real world yet.  Baby steps, remember.

So, today I go to OCS to get all of this straightened out and see if I can possibly progress normally as step two to step three to step four, instead of dealing with that pesky step three-a.

OCS is supposed to be a professional environment.  I'm supposed to be able to trust them with my post-collegiate livelihood.  And, coming from the background of business studies, I think I can tell a poorly run institution when I see one.  And OCS....  

I get there and I swipe my ID card so the computer can read who I am.  It doesn't work.  I look at the student worker at the front desk.  He looks back, says nothing, then turns his head back down to Blender Magazine.  I manually type in my ID number.  It doesn't work.  I try again, this time removing the first identification letter, as the computer so kindly suggests.  Therein lies success!  The message I get?  "Please inform the front desk attendant of your arrival and appointment."  Why I had to go through the computer to do that baffles me.  So I turn to the student worker, who seems as if I had ruined his day, interrupting the latest article about Hilary Duff's budding music career.  

"I'm here to see Kendra--"

"She's right over there," he says, not really gesturing towards a direction.

"I'm right here," I hear a voice call directly from my left.  I look.  "Do we have an appointment?"  this supposed Kendra says.

"Yes, at 1:45."

"Oh, okay.  Give me... 8 minutes," she says.

Looking back at the front desk attendent, I see he has moved on to an article about High School Musical 2 and when I look back to where Kendra was, there is no one to be seen.  So, I make my way over to the waiting room chairs.

Now, I don't mean to sound like an angry stickler (if the duck quacks), but when your position in an organization involves having appointments with people who come visit you, isn't it common courtesy to look at your schedule ahead of time and a) know when you have a meeting and b) who that meeting is with?

Eight minutes later, Kendra returns and asks me to follow her to her office.  On the way, I notice about 20 new iMacs (at $1200+ each).  Does my university really need to update their hardware every time Apple comes up with some new gizmondo?  I begin to wonder where exactly my tuition dollars are going.  Apparently not to the actual efficiency of our career office, just the visage of efficiency.

Sitting down in her office, she asks, "So what are you here for?"  I reply that I'm having problems with my career account in that I can't reach step two in the process outlined above.  She says, "Well, have you attended both the sessions?"  I reply that I haven't, but that resumes are due sooner than the next ones.  "Well, you have to attend those," she says.  I explain that I understand that, but there are other issues here.  "There's one next Friday," she says.  Yes, I explain that I know that, but resumes are due to be dropped the Tuesday before.  "Well, you can still bid (step 3a)," she offers.  

"But won't that put me at a disadvantage?" I ask.

"No."

"If I drop my resume though, they can pick to interview me from that pile, and if I don't pick, then I can bid.  So if I don't have the first step, my only chance is to bid.  Isn't that a disadvantage?"

"...."

"Isn't it?"

She replies in a robotic voice, as if she were a very, very bad actress: "You won't be at a disadvantage."

"I don't think I understand."

"Let's go up to the front desk to see if they can track down if you have actually attended the seminars."

"...Okay," a bit confused I follow her lead.  Honestly, I'm unsure what else I could have said to make the situation better.  So we walk up to the front desk.

"This student (I don't think she remembers my name) might have taken the recruitment seminars, but we're not too sure, can you look it up for us?"  Expecting him to turn to the computer, I instead see him reaching down to pull up one of those mondo 4" three-ring binders full of pink slips of paper.

"When do you think you went?" he asks.

"Um..." not sure what to say I reply, "Maybe last year sometime?"

And that's when my "career advisor" says, "You're going to have to be a little more specific," then, putting on a baby voice, "See he has that binder there?  Each seminar you sign in with the honor code.  So if you say 'last year,' he'll have to go through every seminar we held last year and look for your name."

And my only question now, at the end of this ordeal, is: what are they doing with those dozens of new iMacs?  Playing Monopoly?

it's a carnivale of potential middle-management positions...!!

I always like being one of the first groups of people at career fairs. Why?  To start, you have the (debatable) advantage of being the premier impression presented to the recruiter.  Second, there are a lot less people to compete with for face time.  Third, you can actually move in the cramped room where there are over 100 companies with representatives working and dining on the corporate card (expense it!).  And, lastly, you get all that shit over with.  

I tell you, the career fair is probably the most awkward time during recruitment.  You’re there, with hundreds of other students, to sell yourself to companies who really are not going to remember you at the end of the day, unless you show up naked (Freshmen: take note).  You’re there with the rest of your interchangeable class, asking the same dumb questions we’re told to ask, getting the same dumb answers they’re told to respond with, you distribute some resumes, you pick up some free goods, and you rarely hear from the companies ever again. 

The last career fair I went to I took very seriously.  I dressed in a sharp suit with a striking shirt and a matching tie.  I had my portfolio notebook with my extra resumes and reference sheets.  I had a smart looking pen and keen eyes, ears, and mouth for conversation.  I gave out 15 resumes, hoping to get interviews and offers for summer positions.  Well, after following up, I got no response from those 15 resumes, and I have an excellent resume.

Therefore, for this career fair, I was a bit more lackadaisical.  Sure, I still dressed in some nice pants and put on my fancy shoes, but gone was the tie and jacket.  If they weren't going to take me seriously, I wasn't going to take them seriously, but it's always fun to pull out those business casual outfits.  Playing the game involves being aloof in that such way, not the tattered jeans I'd normally wear.

I still had my resumes, but only five.  And I knew what I was really going for: free goodies.  Stress balls, backpacks, water bottles, t-shirts, puzzles, soda, food, writing utensils, flyers, sticky notes, and any other crap that happened to be lying around on those employer tables.  Sure, I had no interest in working for Morgan Stanley, but if they'll give me a pen-light and a water bottle, I'll pretend to be into investment banking.  I think any right-minded person would do the same.

So I arrived at our latest career fair right at 11:00am, when doors were supposed to open.  I was greeted by a long line wrapping around the block of my classmates, dressed in black suits with white button-ups and red power ties.  Walking down the line to reach the end, I garnered more than a few stares ("bright blue is no color to be wearing when one is to be in the presence of Goldman Sachs representatives!!").  And then, slowly, we were let into the building.  

After producing my school ID for verification, I was given a map of all the 160-some-odd companies represented, and shoved into the wilderness.  There were three rooms to tackle.  First, I walked through all three, getting my bearings as to who had the best goods and who would be most fun to mess with.  Pepsi had free soda.  Zuirch had backpacks.  Yahoo had water bottles.  And IBM had fake ice cubes with blue LED lights on the inside.  I do believe we've found the winner.

The thing about being one of the first people to arrive at a career fair is that you can see all of the HR representatives from all of the companies waiting for people to come up to them.  Some companies send two reps, and I've seen some send up to seven.  Now that's a little overkill.  If you send seven representatives, it's like saying, "We know we're so cool that we'll have at least seven people at any given time just dying to talk to us.  And we'll probably have a queue, too."  Though, there is something comforting about being a prospective employee, walking down these aisles and being flanked by HR reps, just dying to act excited and enthusiastic about you (yes you!) being their next entry-level employee.

After talking to eight or nine companies, their shtick started to sound the same.  I would ask what majors they have openings for.  If it was not my area, I would feign interest.  They would explain the 2-month, 3-month, or (a record) 6-month training process.  I would look into their eyes and lean forward with a smile and glimmer.  When they turned to grab a pamphlet, I would eye what they had on the table.  I would stare at their finely manicured eyebrows until I could see every individual hair.  And then, when I used all my standard questions and somewhat probing questions ("Are you married?" "Do you have any plans for further education?  Does your company support that?" "How much of what you're saying is in a script?") and I could tell their intonation was getting tired, I said a quick thank you, lunged for the false ice cubes, pen-lights, and sticky notes, shoved them into my Zurich backpack, and made my way to the next clan of human resource representatives.

Around 15 companies and conversations later in my life (and four resumes handed out to actualy potential employers who sounded somewhat interesting and exciting, where I didn't have to feign interest, major, or preferred occupation), I had exhausted all of the goodies and exhausted my endurance for this day's career search.  As much as I would love to, I don't expect to hear from any of the four companies to whom I distributed my resume, in which case I've come out of the experience simply tired, hungry (I wasn't allowed to eat the employer-only food), and with some knick-knacks that will make some great stocking stuffers.

So why continue on with them?  Tradition?  Because you’re supposed to do it?  No... it must be the free goodies.  Believe me when I say I can always use more stress balls.

the beginning of the end...

Summer is over, September is well under way, and school has begun once again.

The Freshmen have invaded, the Sophomores and Juniors have been reunited with each other, and the Seniors well... we're scared to death. Nobody has properly warned us that after four years we would have to go out and get jobs. Or maybe we just weren't listening. Sounds of partying are just so much more enticing.

But we're here. Nine short months until we get violently pushed into the real world. We've never been in the real world before. We entered school when we were five; we went through grammer school, junior high school, high school, and now what is called "higher education." With nearly two decades of straight school under our belts, part-time jobs for beer money aside, the real world is a far off and scary place.

Where do we start? On-campus recruitment, past internships, past jobs, connections, networking, skill sets, creativity, analysis, communication, and work, work, work. This is what we've worked for. This is what we've set ourselves up for. Are we ready?

Are we ready?

Probably not.

And so ensues Senior year, the end of our lives as we know it, and the beginning of our lives-to-be.

a haiku...

twenty-one years old
what the fuck do i do now?
entry level hell